Amies lesbiennes, bonjour!

Publié le par remi

Fede envoie a ses amigos cette blague en anglais (de plus ou moins mauvais gout, cela depend si on aime les sushis aha - pas droooole....) petit echange de mails linguistiques.

From: Remi
To: Amigos
Subject: RE: Lesbonics

Explanations needed – I understand only 7. and 10.
Let’s cover that over dinner shall we?

r.

From: Will
To: Amigos
Subject: RE: Lesbonics

Explanations below…
And swear I have never ever even typed the word “cunnilingus” this many times let alone type it.

Will

From: Fede
To: Amigos
Subject: RE: Lesbonics

you outdid yourself this time!!!!...
I think we should name you an honorary lesbian for your cunning contributions to the lingus!!!!!

LESBO-ONICS

1. What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians?...

A licker cabinet.

>> Pun (play on words) on liquor cabinet (where you keep your martini ingredients) and licker (one who licks…..e.g., cunnilingus).

2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian?...

A Klondyke.

>> Pun on the Klondike (a part of Alaska where Eskimos live) and dyke (e.g. a lesbian).

3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns?...

Militia Etheridge.

>> Melissa Etheridge is a famous American singer/popstar and one of the most prominent officially out lesbians in America . Pun is militia (e.g. a group of soldiers) / Melissa.

4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time?...

Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.

>> Jenny Craig is an Australian woman who runs a very successful dieting company. Mary Kay is a woman who started a makeup company that is sold in homes by women (my sister sells this stuff). To eat means to eat out (e.g. cunnilingus). Having someone on your face is also a reference to cunnilingus (oh sit on my face baby so I can lick your hot pussy), e.g., you can’t perform cuninlingus on Jenny because Mary is already on your face (e.g. you’re wearing makeup).

5. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?...

Fur Traders.

>> Fur is a reference to a hairy vagina….. Fur traders would travel by canoe selling furs they had collected from animals.

6. What is a lesbian dinosaur called?...

A Lickalotapus.

>>Lick a lot.

7. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?...

Well Hung.

>> Ca j'avais compris : "bien membré" fait parti du vocabulaire gay :-)

8. Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned?...

She was found face down in Ricki Lake .

>> Ellen DeGeneres is another high profile American lesbian (comedian and actress). Ricki Lake is very fat out talkshow host. Face down meaning she was eating out Ricki…… Joke is on lake.

9. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?...

Even the pool table doesn't have balls.

>> How to explain this one? To have balls is to have courage or be brave. It’s a sexist term as it means a man is being manly. So the lesbians in this bar are so tough that even the pool table has been emasculated.

10. What do you call lesbian twins?...

Lick-a-likes.

>> La aussi j'avais compris le jeu de mot entre look-alike (semblable), lick et like.

11. What's the definition of confusion?...

Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.

>> When women menstruate or do not clean well enough, they smell like fish. So 20 blind lesbians might be confused smelling all the fish around, not knowing if it’s literally fish or a woman who’s hot and ready. At least we know they’ll probably need a nice Chardonnay.

12. What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?...

One's a snack cracker, the other's a crack snacker.

>> The snack: have a small meal or to eat someone out (cunnilingus again). Cracker: a salty biscuit. Ritz being one of the most famous American ones. Crack: a vagina.

Get it now?...

Publié dans Humour - humeurs

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