les nouvelles regles du commerce amoureux
1. When asking someone out, make it absolutely clear you are after a date. Otherwise you could end up becoming just friends by accident. And that’s no use to anyone.
2. It is OK for girls to ask boys out as long as they obey rule 1. Ambiguous invitations are just flirting.
3. If you have set up a date by text message, call on the day to confirm. It proves you’ve got guts.
4. But it’s OK to call when you know someone won’t answer so you can leave a message.
5. When sending emails at work, imagine cc-ing your partner. If he/she wouldn’t be amused, you’re flirting. Stop it.
6. Text message exchange that goes on throughout the day is definitely flirtation. Otherwise why wouldn’t you just speak on the phone? Don’t come over all innocent.
7. If you sleep with someone on the first date, don’t say: “I don’t normally do this.” Of course you do.
8. Boys, If you actually like someone and then you sleep with them, call them the next day. Otherwise you are a bastard.
9. Girls, If you sleep with someone and he didn’t call the next day, he is almost certainly a bastard.
10. If you are not being monogamous you have to tell your partners.
11. If they say that’s OK, but that at some stage they would like a monogamous relationship with you they are lying about it being OK at all. They just don’t want to lose you.
12. Being drunk is not an excuse for infidelity.
13. Being so drunk you don’t remember is still not an excuse, but at least the hangover serves as partial punishment.
14. If you have been seeing someone for more than three months assume it is a monogamous relationship unless otherwise stated.
15. If you have been with someone for more than 15 years assume it is not a monogamous relationship unless otherwise stated.